22.1.12 Red red and more red.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVE. ^-^ xo

First thing's first. Straight after reaching town, FOOD!

Mine.

Mom's.

Mine's miced pork rice while my mom's don't know what fried rice with chilli and her's is so much nicer! But spicier. The spring roll is by far the best. I sticked to milo while my mom ordered grass jelly coffee or something along that line. At first we thought it's going to taste so weird because coffee + grass jelly?! But it taste sweeter with the strong coffee smell, not bad for someone (me) who don't really drink coffee. Ohhhh, and yup, you guessed it. We're in xin wang hong kong café, again. XD

Went shopping after that and we went home SUPER early cuz we're both exhausted. And before we go home, we went to cineleisure (I didn't see Steven Lim) to walk one round and guess who I saw, you all never heard of him before but he's my new friend from my new class. His name is WenJun. I believe there will be quite a lot new names coming up in my future blog posts cuz I get back in contact with my old friends and made some new friends but not to worry, I'll intro them instead of being like some other random bloggers who just throw names in and let their readers "stalk" their friends to know who they are.

My mom's reaction when I ask to buy AX hoodie.

MAKEUPOTD!

OOTD!

These are the things I got!

Ending with a decent picture!

Enjoy your CNY eve, and if you don't celebrate CNY, enjoy your public holidays! <3

13.1.12 13/01/2012

Friday the 13th - First day of school

Today is my first day in a new school. Honestly I was amazed by that school today, it was cooler than I thought! Let me start from when I woke up. Woke at 5:50am, trained to Kelvin's area to have breakfast with him and his friends. It's been so long since I last saw him! I believe his name will appear in my blog for a few times since we're in the same school now, so a short introduction of him - he's my childhood friend and my ex-boyfriend (yup, we still get along quite well), took care of me and helped me in many stuffs, I just feel that he will never leave me alone when it comes to important times.

Bussed to school and it was about 7:40am. Despite having class at 8am, he accompanied me till around 8:10, after his other friends came and after my secondary schoolmates (Augustine & I don't know what's his name) called and come joined us. They accompanied me around half way and went back for class. I find this funny but very stupid.

When Kelvin left:
Kelvin: I go first, anything just call me k.
Me: Okay, I will! (so I troubled him a lot today)

When my secondary schoolmates left:
Augustine: Anything call me~
Me: Haha wtf call your head.

Augustine must be jealous otherwise he won't "copy" what Kelvin said. Hahaha kidding he's always like that. So I walked around myself and I finally saw mdm Sapiah, I don't know what's wrong with my eyes but I can't recognize her. After a short briefing, she lead us to the CCA fair and then I went to meet my secondary classmates (JingLing, Jacy & JL's new friend) and we went in together. The coolest CCA is just the DJ one but I still haven't choose my CCA. Saw Jx half way through and I didn't think much and shouted his name cuz I was SO shock to see him there. Just before we're leaving, he used his mouse noise to call me and I walk towards him like "what?", talked awhile like nothing happened then me and the girls went to eat with other secondary classmates (Stephanie, Ameline & her boyfriend) after that, saw Hazam and I was like "EH *smiles" and he's like "OH *smiles". I saw the face change when he turned and saw... omg it's damn bad but funny. Then saw Kelvin and his other friends again, they're just a table beside us and I was like "this guy look so familiar..." and k I'm getting out of point.

Jacy and the rest went for their classes. So Stephanie & JingLing accompanied me to look for the course adviser (my teachers are pretty, js) or something like that. Stephanie rushed to her class half way and JingLing accompanied me the another half of the morning since she can already go home anytime. Went to purchase uniform first and I somehow made a new friend from my class. My first friend in a new school is ALWAYS a malay. XD Then JingLing and I went to the library cuz we're nerds. Actually no, we went there to train how to talk softly and laugh softly cuz we always talk loud and laugh louder and we have no other place to go since we needed air con.

Thank you people who accompanied me today. ^-^
OMG FEEL SO LOVED.

11.1.12 Insecure

With & without make-up: “You are fucking ugly”

 

Too much make up, too insecure, too ugly to show what's behind the powder? Fine okay. I brought myself out to the internet as me without any makeup. What now? Ugly like I've been ran over by a truck, get braces, fix my face. But at least, I proved that I applied powder on my face just because I like it. I'm a very fragile teenager (that's why I used paper instead of drawing block), people say I wear too much makeup and make it a reason to hate me (that's why I used real make up on paper me) but all these can't tear me up. All those hate, bullies, shit things that happened in this 16 years almost 17 of me breathing, all of them, only worth one teardrop, for when I'm still small and think that I'm really that disgusting and useless.

Enough - I thought to myself: I deserve to have real friends, I deserve to have a happy family, I deserve to be happy. Everyone who're reading this deserve to be happy too. You girls especially, stop thinking that you're not good enough. If you're not happy with how you look, work hard to get a plastic surgery, but I won't recommend people who are living with low self-esteem to get it because everyone is already beautiful. Not saying plastic surgery is a bad choice cuz the only downside is when it fails. Appreciate your apparence.

You don't see me draw everyday. ;)

If I am fucking ugly, you must be fucking blind, mmkay?

THE FIRST SENTENCE.

Why are Singaporeans going against her? Disgrace to mankind. 

And I find her pretty. Nothing's wrong with her. These are the type 

of people that makes girls feel insecure about themselves and make 

them do all sorts of stuff to themselves which will get them insulted again for "not being natural".

epiccookie35 3 days ago 4 

Okay keep smiling. Bye! xo

10.1.12 Low self-esteem?

I wrote this on 4th Dec 2011, decided to just publish it. ^-^

I came across quite a lot of people having low self-esteem, knowing that I used to be one of them.

What's the cause of it? - Judgmental people.

I want to share how I overcome and accept myself for being who I am. Last time, I don't know how many times I've been repeating this, but just like any of the girls, I hate how I look, I just hate myself and I hate life so much that I thought to commit suicide but didn't dare. When I was still young like primary 5, I tried swallowing adult panadol which I heard from the doctor that it's too strong for me at that time, and swallowing pills' like, you can die without those type of extreme pain, but nothing happened to me. Thinking back I'm seriously, really glad that I'm still alive and half healthy. I question my friends, I question my enemies, I question buddha (I'm buddhist) and I even question God, asking them why am I not even a little bit pretty on the outside. Quotes saying inner beauty matters more and obviously we all know that the world is judgmental. People who judge others, I don't know why but it seems like they only can see the bad points about you, actually no, they can twist good points into bad points to make you feel depressed. I just don't know how the hell did they do that.

I got sooooooo tired and frustrated with judgmental people. They're like the only people I hate. I mean, you can judge in a joking manner like saying your friend did a bad job at something, but never ever mean what you say because judging is just wrong. So wrong you don't even want to know how wrong it is. You don't even want to feel the pain of being judged & rejected by people around the world thinking that you belong nowhere.

You know, I really hate seeing girls or even guys feeling bad about how they look. I know, we must accept the fact that we are not pretty/handsome as other realllll pretty/handsome people out there, but we ARE perfect, at least standing alone, to ourselves. What's that bullshit saying nobody is perfect? Stand infront of the damn mirror and tell yourself you're too good that's why people judge you.

The following paragraphs might NOT make any sense at all.

--

Planking is very popular months ago. And it is actually a good example to life. But people find it stupid. I think it's okay. I tried planking and I feel stupid while trying to plank but it's actually not easy to plank. Nobody really knows that or believe that but I say planking is a good example to life because...

1) Planking on things that doesn't give support to your chest and legs than planking on flat and big surface.
- Because even though we know it's not easy but we still chose to plank on things that are harder because there will always be times where you hope something wouldn't happen but it did.

Always expect the best but prepare for the worst.

2) Planking on dangerous places risking your life: Australian guy dies while planking on a seventh floor balcony (clickable).
- People call him stupid for doing that, partly he is but he fell because his time to be in this world is up. Why?
Because he chose to NOT treasure what he currently have and risk his life to something pointless.

You earn respect, gain love, collect confidence. It don't just come by itself, but once you have some of those,  be appreciative  that you even have any.

Remember: Judgmental people planks in traffic because despite knowing it's wrong but they still do it. You know what's in the traffic.

Sorry, I had to... They will pay for what they did wrong.

--

If that big chunk of words makes no sense to you, then just be who you are. Don't change for anyone. Change for yourself.


Black Veil Brides (yes, them again) - Savior
If this song isn't the type of music you listen to then just read the lyrics.
I never meant to be the one who kept you from the dark,
but now I know my wounds are sewn because of who you are.
I will take this burden on and become the holy one,
but remember I am human and I'm bound to sing this song.

So hear my voice, remind you not to bleed.
I'm here.

Savior, will be there when you are feeling alone.
A savior for all that you do.
So you live freely without their harm.

So here I write my lullaby to all the lonely ones.
Remember as you learn to try to be the one you love.
So I can take this pen and teach you how to live,
but what is left unsaid, the greatest gift I give.

So hear my voice, remind you not to bleed.
I'm here.

Savior, will be there when you are feeling alone.
A savior for all that you do.
So you live freely without their harm.

SAVIOR, will be there.
When you are feeling alone, a savior (will be there) for all that you do.
So you live freely without their harm.

When I hear your cries, praying for light. I will be there.

When I hear your cries, praying for life, I will be there!

I will fight!
I will always be there!
I will fight.

XOXO

5.1.12 Plans.

I need to learn how to stop wasting money on buying things online - no online shopping for me this month and maybe next month. Oh it's valentine's day next month! This year's valentine's day is going to be so fun cuz I'm celebrating it single. If you follow my twitter, you should know that my life is in a mess these days, actually it's me making all small things big letting it to become a stress that's blocking my light and way, but I talk to a good friend of mine about it so I'm feeling a lot better now. 

Problems will eventually go away and hatred will slowly fade away.

Because I grew up with too many fake idiots surrounding me so maybe I still have that mindset of taking revenge somewhere in the back of my head. When I know that being happy is the best revenge. Everything came from watching too much Korean dramas that time when I'm still crazy about kpop, one of them is about the wife taking revenge on her husband who dumped her for a sexier but sluttier woman who was the wife's best friend. Also watched a lot shows about crime, cases, laws, which made me a better person with a smarter brain. English shows like that taught me a lot. They are like my favorite type of show to watch! I'm not those girly girls who love shows/movies about romance. Again I'm going to repeat, I love love love crime solving shows such as point of entry. OMG. Smart storyline and cool people. Asdfghjkl. How can you not love that show?!

School should start on the 9th of January which is this coming Monday, next week. But it might start on the 12th. Somewhere around that date but I'm taking the earlier date just incase. As the title of this post says plans, I'm going to talk about my plans from today to this Sunday. Tight I know but whatever. So I got video requests and I'm planning to squeeze 2 videos (one is a simple makeup tutorial, another one is just me talking about a particular topic) in this 3 days just before I dye my hair back black. Possible but hard. You know I take hours to film one video and take hours to edit one though I didn't really do anything to it. Basically I'm just going to spend the rest of today clearing up my room and then take a nap and continue clearing tonight. Sunday - dye back black.

Maybe I should squeeze the 2 videos in a day - Saturday? I can do the vlog after I'm done with the tutorial. 2 videos in a day. I'm so good. XD

This is what the tutorial is about.

And this is the vlog. I need to like, write what I want to say in a notebook or something like that cuz it's a topic.
Will do if I can think of something to write. LOL

Yup, busy week.

P/S: I'm getting a P.O box this October around 18th to 20th. Letters/gifts are welcomed. ;) Bday's on 24/10.
And.. Christmas, you know my favorite time of the year is Christmas, right? That hint is obvious enough. :b
P/P/S: I'm planning something special this Christmas (and I'll need your home address) since I will be 18 next year, the year I've been waiting for so long so I believe I will be in extra good mood this Christmas to "give back" the love and support you people have been giving me. In another words... K I'll talk more about this around early November!

Hopefully I won't forget about all these. :/
& more hopefully I can keep those words cuz we dk what will happen this whole year. You know what I mean.

Keep smiling. xo

MAKJ

3.1.12 Interview

I just went for an interview (that my aunt helped me through) in a college and I'm on my way to town now. Just wanna get this post out as soon as possible! As many of you might already know, I've already planned my way up to business skills (office) but unfortunately I didn't get in. And of course, I didn't give up on getting into it. I reapplied but the results will only be out on 12th Jan. Which means I'll skip like a week of classes, and there's no guarantee that I will DEFINITELY get in that course. I don't want to be the late one although I'm always late. My aunt helped me (so damn thankful for that) because she knows how much I want to get into that course.

So I went for an interview. Yes, flagged a cab there and was half an hour early. Many students there was staring at me. Like as expected. But it's rude to stare okay! I don't know but I felt so proud after I get out of the college because I went alone and survived. Cuz I hate being alone but for times like this I need to be independent.

I was interviewed by Ms Sapiah. She have my respect. You know people like me who dress differently always get nasty looks and stupid comments from strangers among themselves, especially when this is Singapore. I enjoyed talking to her although I think I sounded a little rude... She tell me things nicely and not being like "hey kid you can't do this in our college".

Of course I'll need to meet the expectations they have in that course. At least I don't find them unreasonable. Those expectations was expected. This just means that I'm going back to being normal. But I'm keeping the me inside of myself. Just like Ms Sapiah said, be normal for just one year.

I know, when I make it to higher nitec I'll need to be normal again but I just got to wait till I finish education so I can be back the "Halloween" kid. Right?

Woo I reached and am already having dinner. K bye! Keep smiling. Have a great 2012 ahead. ^-^